The Non-visible Councillor Bell - Another Tool

Regular contributor Slim adds another to the Townsville's 'Bag of Tools'

I really can't recall the last time the ratepayers heard anything of any substance from the Non-visible Cr Deanne Bell. Well, other than outrageous travel and hospitality expenses. Every year.

Must be my recall facilities because surely the marvellous salaries we pay really bring out the best in our representatives, don't you agree?

The poor dear must be thinking she can get back the deputy dawg's spot if she can stick the boot into someone while David Crisafulli is focussing on Mundingburra and Dale Last is just looking for his next media opportunity.

So, who does she choose for targets in a newspaper article on 31 March but the city's landlords? Boom - one shot in the foot. But really it's a double barrell and a shot in the other foot as well - Boom. Landlords are ratepayers too, just like the most of the rest of us ratepayers.

Has this person actually got out of her office and had a look at the extreme drainage problems? In most cases caused by poor council planning decisions and poor council policies and requirements about stormwater.

We know we are having one of the wettest seasons on record and we know when we are being patronised and when arrogance shows its long nose and ugly face.

Has this person had a look at Deschamp Street; at McHardie Street; at Wotton Street; at Laura Court, just for a few examples - I have and I can see many houses abandoned for the duration of The Wet.

It's not such a bad idea to abandon your house and go and live with relatives in another state, for example, because the city is rapidly running out of land with reasonable drainage.

Nobody should be building houses on reclaimed swampland or river flats.

Here's an idea for the Councillor, if that's the best she can come up with to get herself noticed, it is time. It is time all right for her to go and live in another state and leave us to look after our residences in the best ways that we know.

The Townsville City Council is not capable.
Cheers, Slim.

So many tools you could open a workshop!!

Slim's Pickens: BOM V GOD and another somewhat well-known Queensland tool

In follow-up to his earlier comment, regular contributor, Slim writes:

Staying with the parliamentary performance theme could provide some revelations about the fading career of one who is far less "representative"; a line you may recall in relation to 'swill' and Keating.
John Quiggin has been amused by events during recent Senate Estimates hearings: Perhaps I am more saddened by the discovery of another parliamentary tool, but the religious tool nearly made it all worthwhile.

"The idea that the Bureau of Meteorology is part of a global conspiracy to destroy Australia’s economy impose communist world government (or in some more prosaic versions, to increase itsfunding[1]) sounds like the basis of a bad comedy sketch. But, as I mentioned a few weeks ago, this claim is put forward, in apparent seriousness, by numerous anti-science advocates in Australia (Andrew Bolt, Jennifer Marohasy, and Warwick Hughes are leading examples) and implicily accepted by many others....

Back in October last year, the Senate’s Environment and Communications Legislation Committee agreed to table a letter from Cardinal Pell which quoted heavily from Heaven and Earth to claim there were “good reasons for doubting that carbon dioxide causes warmer temperatures”.

The Director of the Bureau of Meteorology Dr Greg Ayers has now responded at an estimates hearing, demolishing Plimer’s bogus claims and pointing to numerous scathing reviews of his trashy and dishonest book. Ayers is great value, but the real fun in reading the Hansard transcript comes from the frantic attempts of Senators MacDonald and Boswell to stop him talking...

It’s great to see the Bureau taking a leading role in the defence of science. Sadly, some of those who should be speaking out, most notably the Australian Academy of Science, have been missing in action. ...

It’s also amusing to see leading figures on the political right like Pell, McDonald and Boswell expose themselves as gullible fools, along with most of the rightwing commentariat. While not everyone on the right thinks this way (as witness Turnbull’s near-victory over Abbott a year or so ago), the number willing to raise their voices in defence of science remains tiny.

Footnote1. Advocates of the conspiracy theory tend to shift between global communist and grant-grubbing theories, in a manner reminiscent of the (possibly apocryphal) Tasmanian politician who promised voters that, if they supported Federation they would build a glorious new nation under the Southern Cross and get higher prices for their apples."

Quiggin's description of Senator Ian Macdonald as a leading figure of the political right is laughable, of course. But what is hilarious is the Hansard Report between pages 104 and 109.

Cheers, Slim

See also Tim Lambert and Graham Readfearn

Ewen Jones: "The Townsville Tool" or just an idiot?

Slim writes in follow-up to my earlier post about The Big Ewe's contribution to the national debate and to creating a viable and sustainable policy framework for the our future

A different type of 'substantial contribution' may not make it into local print media.

On the Crikey web site on 23 February in a report by Bernard Keane (behind their subscriber paywall) about Li'l Bil) Shorten's parliamentary performance the last three paragraphs of the report give a rather sad insight into the parliamentary performance of the Member for Herbert, Ewen Jones -

"It’s only early in the parliamentary year but a low point was plumbed right at the end of question time when Kevin Rudd rose to discuss the Middle East and, in particular, Libya, revealing the Libyan ambassador had been called in for a dressing down and that he’d spoken to the Bahraini foreign minister about the killing of protesters there.

This was, plainly, a matter of complete non-interest to a number of Coalition MPs who used the answer to offer doubtless witty advice to Rudd. Peter Dutton and Greg Hunt both heckled and interjected. And sitting up in the back corner, Queensland MP Ewen Jones spent the entire answer jeering and laughing as Rudd discussed Middle East protests, the slaughter of demonstrators and the presence of Australians in Libya.

Classy."

What a representative of the citizens of the greater Townsville region!

Cheers,
Slim

Note to Slim: what exactly is the difference between identifying him as a 'tool' rather than as an (my preferred) idiot?  Both are equally dangerous aren't they?

Mind you, "The Townsville Tool" (or even better the "Tool of Townsville") has a certain ring to it.  But then, "Idiot" is a lot more to the point and "Schoolyard Idiot" would be even more descriptive....

Found in Slim's letterbox

Regular contributor, Slim writes:

Bligh's local representatives are getting desperate by spamming the community far and wide.

The community could show their appreciation by sending a message to:

• thuringowa@parliament.qld.gov.au
• mundingburra@parliament.qld.gov.au
• townsville@parliament.qld.gov.au

The community could picket this function.

Cheers,
Slim

I for one am tempted to go just to see how many turn up (my bet is 18 not including the organisers) ....

Lessons from 1995

Guest contributor Slim writes:

The lessons of 1995 for the ALP in Queensland have been lost.

It was not that long ago.

The report of The Young Inquiry should be compulsory reading for all Queensland Caucus members and paid ALP employees at Peel St, South Brisbane.

A repeat of the national swing against the State ALP in 2012 of around 5.5% would mean that more than 20 seats, and government, would be lost:

• Chatsworth
• Everton
• Broadwater
• Cook
• Barron River
• Toowoomba North
• Whitsunday
• Southport
• Mount Ommaney
• Townsville
• Springwood
• Cairns
• Mansfield
• Ferny Grove
• Pine Rivers
• Kallangur
• Mount Isa
• Burleigh
• Pumicestone
• Mount Coot-tha
• Redcliffe
• Mount Isa.

Cheers, Slim

Who really won in Herbert?

Slim raises an interesting point below about the recent campaign in Herbert. 

Judging by my letterbox and my TV habits, the LNP outspent the ALP 3:1!  So who exactly stumped up for Ewin What's-his-name?

Either the developers as Slim suggests or perhaps Big Clive P (a former property developer, now coal developer - basically the same MO though)?

One thing Slim is dead right about for sure - the property developers about town would have invested enough in each campaign to ensure that there would be a return for them no matter who won!

As for No Raffles at Mooney's wake? - I reckon he's petrified that no one will turn-up so he's simply eliminating the disincentives!

And finally, I thought a lot about whether Slim uses Ned's last words appropriately...and, yep!

Slim writes:

No Raffles at an ALP function? Has he quit the party as well?

The land developers must have come up with the big green notes - sometimes referred to as a "Jolly Green Giant"

Who else is known as as "Jolly Green Giant"?  Why Ewan Jones of course.

The land developers win every which way.

Such is life.
Slim

Peter Lindsay's final rort?

Sim writes:
Well we have all been waiting such a very long time for the swan song of the Hon. Peter Lindsay.

Here it is folks.

One more run on the public purse, but for whose benefit?

This document is clearly set out to deceive the voting public during an election campaign.

The document does not have an "authorised by" nor a "printed by" acknowledgement.

The document was personally addressed using the electronic electoral roll facilities and other taxpayer-funded office equipment available to sitting members.

The document contains the idea that the Coalition candidate has the authority to decide that for the Seat of Dawson there will be two electorate offices.

Honorable?

Hope he doesn't let the door belt him on the arse on the way out.

Cheers,
Slim

Is Tony Mooney already a Serial looser?

Further to last Saturday's post about comrade Mooney's chances in Herbert, Slim writes:

How many times does it take to be a "serial loser"? He is already a three-time loser, that's a "serial" for me! He will make it to four.

The first one was the 1990's attempt at amalgamation which was only pulled because of the strength of the community comments coming from Thuringowa. The reports are still available in the JCU library. That's probably why he is campaigning out there now, although it may have been better to be campaigning in Townsville where a few may still feel sympathy.

The second was the disastrous Mundingburra by-election.
The third was the total destruction at The Amalgamation council election in 2008. Now that was a classic self-destruction!

How many "Tony Mooney" ads has anybody seen on the TV? Did they make any apart from the online meatworks one? Chasing the union vote, most unlikely to get any result.

It's not got anything to do with Rudd. Look in the direction of the competition between various land developers/real estate agents for the likely answers! Remember Rocky Springs - which means two horses from the one stable may be a close guess.

Rudd's political lifespan was a little short after all because he wouldn't play the faction game. Bligh will be next because the AWU and the SDA and the catholic right are ruthless, watch out for Lucas when Bligh gets into this ALP president appointment.

It won't be long now.

Jenny Hill has wanted Mundingburra for a long time now and she knows where all of Ludwig's and De Bruyn's bodies are buried. She knows where Tony's are, obviously.

Sabotage could not be ruled out, you know what these southern europeans are like?

Cheers,
Slim

Can Tony Mooney really use a computer - Slim seems to think yes!

Hi Islander,

Another coup for the Mooney family as they have scored a spot in the NBN Co fibre optic broadband trial:

http://www.nbnco.com.au/firstreleasesites/first-release-areas-details.aspx#townsville

But only just though as the eastern border of the trial area is less than 100 metres from the back of their house in Kelly Street, Mundingburra.

Just a coincidence you think? It's a funny old boundary that eastern boundary, isn't it? It's sort of China Street, but includes the houses on the eastern side of China Street, so that makes it a bit of an odd shape when their back fences become the border. Does that matter? Why China Street anyway?

If they had of wanted a nice straight boundary, they could of run from, say Charlotte Street to Bowen Road or Thompson Street to Bowen Road or a few other combinations.

But why have a straight boundary, when you can have a bent one?

You remember how we love to speculate?

Well how about one of the outrageously overpaid bum shiners in the NBN Co being none other than Mike Kaiser, a maaaaaattttte of Tony's from the old days - branch stacking, Karen Ehrmann, paying other's branch memberships, Andy Keogh, Shane Foster, forging electoral documents, Jenny Hill, bags of AWU and SDA money, dodgey pre-selections, misuse of ratepayers' funds etc.

But no, the boundary was done to suit the Herbert hopeful - to use the terminology of your good friends at the Bully!

So we have the next greatest rort of taxpayers' funds by the Another Liberal Party - the fibre optic cable roll-out! The next great distraction from Senator Stephen Conroy (SDA).

Trying so very hard to out do all the similar schemes the other Liberal Party ran from 1996 to 2007.

Do you think it might be as bad as the insulation scheme? Or the Building the Education Revolution? Or the mining tax puffrey advertising scheme?

You can bet your house that it will be!

How many other Another Liberal Party members live in the area? Nice to know? Anyone give a stuff?

It smells real bad from the Slim View! How is it from the Island View?

Cheers,

Slim

What do Mooney, V8s and toilet paper have in common?: A letter from Slim

Hi Islander

The recent letter and campaign update from the Mooney Kamp tells us a number of important facts and also allows some speculation, because that is what we like to do!

• "the fight ....... will be hard fought" - outstanding prose from one of JCU's finest?



• "cuts to services and a return to the worst aspects ........ including work choices" - is this what Mooney is promising?






• "broad based Campaign Committee" - does this mean they'll sit around on their big fat arses, like last time, when they could not "out" Tyrell's team as Liberals


• "I will be campaigning on a range on a range of local issues including health reform" - he'll be at the V8 races dispensing toilet paper and making all sorts of spurious claims to all the drunks about who brought the V8 races to town and just how soon they are going to open the case that contains the PET scanner



• Vi Cox has opened the Currajong ALP Branch purse strings at last for her beloved Tony - Colbran's taxpayer-funded business expenses no longer required; get well soon



• Barry Mitchell as campaign director - have the loving couple of Mitchell and Jack Wilson kissed, cuddled and made up? Or has Jack been asked that famous old ALP saying - do you like sex and travel?

The next campaign meeting will be 31 May at the office. Will there be space on the campaign team for a few "National Party" members? How about some "Liberal Party Members"? How about some "Independent Party" members?
You going to the meeting?

Cheers - Slim

Slim posts the first election pamphlet

Occasional contributor, Slim Cayenne, sent in this scan of Mooney's first Election pamphlet with the following comment:

Puffery and hyperbole will be commonplace from now. Well, only if it wasn't already!


The wait for these basic services is over ONLY if anyone has forgotten that these items/equipment/infrastructure will not be delivered until 2012.

Way past Rudd's, McLucas', Mooney's and Lucas' political life spans.

You're spot-on in your observation about puffery and hyperbole Slim, but I’m not so sure of your longevity diagnosis for Rudd at least

Slim's got mail

From Guest Blogger Slim Cayenne

I am a fan of junk mail - the things that arrive are sometimes amazing.

Take the Smith & Elliott flyer, for example.

How much money do Australian Defence Forces get paid in a lump sum when they return from invading another country and attacking innocent civilians?

Enough to buy a house? Is that what they are implying?

These funds are my taxes at work and I get no say in these debacles. How much are these campaigns costing us?

How about the deal on the estate agent's commission? If they don't sell in 60 days you don't pay full commission? That will really drag in the punters - you need to go a long way to find a better deal!

WTFWTT?

Slim

The things you read in the mail

From contributor, Slim Cayenne:

A FREE bbq at Chez Mooney? Free piss? Free raffles? The sky is falling!

There always were strong rumours that the Currajong Branch was flush, but for an ALP function to be free?

Is Colbran going to put up another $98,000 for someone else's campaign?

So many questions.........

WTFWTT?
Here's a real thigh slapper from that bastion of good taste and racism, The Association of Justices of the Peace and Commissioners for Declarations:

• Criminal: a person found at home in bed at 3am.
• Desperate Criminal: an Aboriginal person found at home in bed at 3am.

WTFWTT?

It's all happening in Ingham

Guest post by Slim Cayenne

They're so excited up at the Ingham branch of the ALP that they've sacked the proofreader and forgotten what each other looks like. (click to expand and count the errors)